Election 2016 Votes According to 'Harry Potter' Characters
Earlier this year, J.K. Rowling made headlines when she issued a savage burn onto Donald Trump, tweeting that the Republican presidential candidate was actually worse than Voldemort. Yeah, worse than the most evil wizard to have ever lived. Ouch.
But what would happen if your beloved Harry Potter characters actually could vote? We know, we know — as British citizens, they're not able to vote for the American president, but they're also fictional characters who practice magic, so we're suspending belief for the moment. Go with us.
There have been, of course, some parallels between the Harry Potter narrative and this year's election. It's been a long, drawn-out fight, and it's finally coming to a head with the Battle of Hogwarts Election Day upon us all. So who would Hogwarts's best and brightest wave their wands for? We made a few educated guesses, based on their alignment in the 7 books.
1/20Harry would vote for Clinton.
He'd feel conflicted — the bit of his soul that was Voldemort's Horcrux might try to convince him otherwise — but love, the strongest magic of all, would win out.
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2/20Hermione would vote for Hillary.
Not only so that she could help shatter the glass ceiling, but so that when it was her turn to run for office, she'd have a mentor to help show her the ropes.
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3/20Ron would vote for Hillary.
Sure, he'd post a few dumb memes on social media before he saw reason and realized it was a serious moment, but he'd eventually see reason.
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4/20Fred and George Weasley would vote for Kanye West.
Ever the pranksters, those two.
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5/20Ginny Weasley would vote for Hillary.
She'd also hex Fred and George for being idiots.
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6/20Molly Weasley would vote for Clinton.
She'd probably cry while casting her ballot — same, mom.
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7/20Arthur Weasley would bungle his ballot.
He'd either tweet a selfie in a state where doing so is illegal, or get so distracted asking polling workers how everything "worked" that he'd forget to actually, you know, vote.
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8/20Seamus Finnegan would be a converted Bernie bro.
He'd raise a huge stink about how Hillary was a terrible choice, but after alienating all of his Facebook friends, would finally pitch in to help Clinton.
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9/20Dean Thomas would vote for Clinton.
He and Seamus would get into heated debates on social media about it, though.
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10/20Draco Malfoy would say he was voting for Trump.
And then secretly vote for Hillary.
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11/20Dobby would vote for Harry Potter.
Uh, can someone explain how candidacy works to Dobby?
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12/20Krum would vote for Hillary.
But only after he asked Hermione to explain — in length — what exactly the ekel-ection was, and who she was voting for, so he could follow suit.
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13/20Professor McGonagall would vote for Clinton.
Do we even need to explain?
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14/20Hagrid would vote for Clinton.
And then try to procure a ballot for Grawp, only to trample a polling place in the process.
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15/20Professor Sprout would vote for Jill Stein.
Hey, somebody was bound to.
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16/20Professor Trelawney would not vote.
She'd argue that as someone who sees all, she doesn't need to — and it would be unfair to everyone else if she did.
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17/20Professor Umbridge would vote Trump.
TBH, it's yet another reason why we hope those kittens on the plates claw her up.
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18/20Dumbledore would vote for Hillary.
He'd also urge all the Hogwarts students to believe in the magic of their voices, and issue a few other key words of wisdom at dinner.
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19/20Bellatrix Lestrange would vote for Trump.
She'd cackle while doing so, too. Gross.
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20/20Voldemort would vote for Voldemort.
You didn't think we were going to say Trump, did you? Voldemort recognizes only one evil wizard, and he's it.
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