International Women's Day 2019: 17 Women Share What Womanhood Means to Them
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There are a lot of ways to be a woman. For some, womanhood is strength. For others, it's tenderness. Womanhood might be pushing yourself in school or in your career, or helping to lift others up. You can be a woman wearing a dress and heels, or when you're tying up your work boots. Womanhood is not defined by relationships, jobs, body parts, or anything else — it's not defined by anyone or anything but yourself.
On International Women's Day, we're celebrating all the ways to be a woman by talking to many who have learned to define what that means on their own. In 2019, as women are taking power over their stories and speaking their truths, we can't think of a better way to celebrate women than by letting them speak for themselves. Rather than allowing society to tell them what and who they should be, the following 17 women are defining womanhood means on their own terms — and that's powerful.
Chidera Eggerue1/17Chidera Eggerue
London
"I first felt like a woman the day I moved into my own apartment for the first time at 24 years old. I spent my whole life living with my family, which came with a lot of limitations, but once I moved out, my life finally became entirely mine. I get to choose my own furniture, I get to wash my plates when I want, I get to play my music as loud as I prefer. I get to be my whole entire self!
"To me, being a woman means tapping into a power that cannot ever be taken away from you. I learned what being a woman means the I day I realized the world will never spin in my favor, and for that reason I must always affirm to myself that I am powerful, I am worthy, and I am deserving of every sweet thing this world could offer."
Emma Gannon/@emmagannonuk2/17Emma Gannon
London
"I think I first felt like a woman when I first properly stood up for myself. Growing up I was quite insecure in my opinions and believed other people's thoughts over my own. The first time I thought, Hmm, that is not OK, and I'm going to do something about it, was when I felt like a woman. Because women are powerful AF.
"To me [being a woman] means being both feminist and feminine. It means taking up space. Sometimes it means expressing myself wearing amazing colorful clothes and bold make-up and knowing that an interest in beauty and fashion does not for one moment minimize my intellect. I suppose a good starting point [to how I learned to be a woman] was reading How to Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran. I read that book when I was 21, and it was the first step to opening my eyes. We all have different definitions, so I think I just figured out my own definition from just moving through the world. Being a woman, unfortunately, means needing to be hyper-switched on to how the world currently operates because it's often not swung in our favor — and it's worse for women of color."
Sarah Emily Baum3/17Sarah Emily Baum
Long Island, New York
"I first felt like a woman in elementary school. I [was] always outspoken and outgoing and goofy. Boys with these traits were class clowns and leaders, but I was just considered 'annoying.' I remember feeling especially angry playing a team-building game in gym class, where groups had to figure out how to overcome a series of obstacles, but no one listened to the ideas I had. Other girls used to tell me 'let the boys do it.' I was only listened to when I told a boy my strategy and he echoed it. When we won, everyone congratulated HIM for his wits — it was the first in a long line of being invalidated or trivialized because I am a woman.
"To me, being a woman means overcoming adversity. It is strength and empowerment. It is black and white, cis and trans, straight and queer, native and immigrant, disabled and poor and Jewish and Muslim and fat and all-inclusive. What I'm trying to say is being a woman is whatever you want it to be."
Mary David4/17Mary David
Sherman Oaks, California
"I first felt like a woman when I won my first beauty pageant. I started competing because I wanted to raise awareness about human trafficking, and I knew that having a title would give me a platform to speak to diverse audiences. To compete, I had to learn not just how to act confident, but how to be confident. This was a time of discovering self-acceptance, self-love, and self-care because I knew the judges would be able to see through me if I didn't value who I was. Growing up, my father repeatedly told me that I wasn't beautiful, and was not there the night that I won. But as I took the stage, I truly believed I was beautiful. Owning who I was, both activist and performer, regardless of what anyone else thought, was a turning point in my life.
"Being a woman means having a strong sense of identity, accepting your body as one that adapts and changes over time, being confident, and building up the people in your life. It means you have the wisdom to be grateful for what you have while still being hungry enough for growth. It means looking out for other women and girls on all levels. It means finding ways to align with communities and populations that have less than you do. I learned what being a woman means from watching my own mother. As a new immigrant to America, she somehow put herself through residency with two children and no savings. When I was in college, she was diagnosed with cancer and continued to work as a pediatrician in inner city Baltimore with sick children, even though her immunity was low and the treatment had terrible side effects — all because she was financially supporting my sister and me. She taught me tenacity, generosity, and kindness daily. She showed me how to be gentle while still being firm. I owe so much of my growth and success to her."
5/17Madison Lawson
22, St. Louis, Missouri
"I remember feeling like a woman when I would play dress up as a little girl. There was something about clip-on earrings and plastic high heels that made me feel powerful. I first felt the power of being a woman when I recognized the bond of sisterhood with other women could get me through any obstacle life throws at me. People often try to decide for women what they are capable of simply because of the fact that we are women. The term 'fight like a girl' has a negative connotation to it. [Because I am] a woman with a disability people have misconceptions of what I am capable of, so it's a constant fight to show people that I am capable of so much more than what they expect me to do. It’s a tiring fight to constantly redefine what that means, but I call it 'fighting like a girl.' And that’s what it means to be a woman, being underestimated but continuing to show society why they’re wrong about you and doing it anyway.
"I have been surrounded by supportive women who lift me up, sometimes literally. Sisterhood is strong, I believe it could move mountains. That love and support is where I learned what it means to be a woman. When we support each other instead of competing, that’s when we can do anything!"
Chloe Gbai6/17Chloe Gbai
"I strongly remember how I felt as a woman immediately after the 2016 election. I’ve never felt more loyalty to my sex before that moment. I’m a black woman in America and my race affects my everyday life, but being a woman does even more so. Whether I feel safe, how I dress, how late I stay out, how I use my voice, are all consequences of me being a woman, which is something that the black men in my life still have trouble getting.
"I firmly remember after the election feeling we all —all women — had collectively lost. The amount of white women that voted for Trump felt like the ultimate betrayal. Because I believed that even if my sisters would abandon me because of my race, we could at least come together in the name of gender and sex. And when that didn’t happen, I truly felt defeated."
Amika George7/17Amika George
19, U.K.
"Being a woman means I can be anything and everything I want to be. It means being able to fight for change on the issues that matter to us, being able to raise my voice on behalf of those who can't, and standing alongside other women to show that they matter. Not being ashamed of crying when only a good sob will fix it, laughing like I am five years old, being brave when I don't feel brave, feeling vulnerable, and being proud of those vulnerabilities. Loving myself despite all my flaws, and accepting myself as the person I am, and trying to make myself better in a small way every day, but not beating myself up about it if I can't. It's about knowing how to love your friends and family and telling them you love them. It's about feeling empowered and empowering the women around you.
"[I learned how to be a woman] through watching and learning from the strong women I have in my life. My great-grandmother was my ultimate feminist hero. She really taught me how to never stop fighting to achieve your aspirations, no matter how many obstacles. I learn from my mum every day, and from my friends who reflect the different ways you can be a woman. I think it was into my teens, but I don’t think it was an epiphany or a sudden realization [of when I first felt like a woman]. I have felt more like a woman when I started to talk about the issues facing us as women and started trying to address gender inequality though the #FreePeriods campaign, by understanding the challenges women go though every day, and realizing we were all connected by those same issues."
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Rylee Dahl8/17Rylee Dahl
21, Los Angeles
"I first felt like a woman at 18, when I had an ovarian cyst rupture and was put on birth control. Birth control seemed to be what all women were taking, and I guess I felt a bit grown up. Being a woman means having an enduring spirit. We go through so much pain silently but are so resilient that we continue on with our lives and try to put ourselves back together.
"I learned what being a woman meant through all of my reproductive issues. So many of us suffer from health problems related to our womanhood, and, unfortunately, it's overlooked in society and just becomes normal."
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Serena Daniari9/17Serena Daniari
"I've always felt like a woman since I was young, but I was assigned male at birth, so it was difficult for me to access those feelings. Growing up in a conservative neighborhood in Texas, I definitely didn't have the language to articulate my gender. It was later, when I moved to New York and met other trans girls, that I was able to understand my own transness and blossom. Being trans means constantly dealing with people who attempt to discredit your identity. Being a woman means feeling powerful and authentic, in spite of that.
"[Being a woman is] not necessarily anything I learned from anyone. I more so learned from myself. I think that being a woman looks and feels different for each woman. We all manifest our femininity and womanhood in nuanced and diverse ways."
Amie Mbye10/17Amie Mbye
23, Augusta, Georgia
"I can’t pinpoint an exact moment; however, it was when I realized that I am held to different standards and expectations in the public eye and decided to challenge them [that I felt like a woman]. In 2019, [being a woman] means striving to achieve your goals no matter the obstacles set in your path. It means shattering the glass ceiling and helping others to do so as well.
"Attending an all women’s college — not to be mistaken as an “all girl's school” — and being able to interact with women from all over the world really taught me that there is no one way to define what it means to be a women, which is amazing. I learned that your experiences as a woman give you unique abilities, characteristics, and stories that should be celebrated."
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Davida Williams11/17Davida Williams
32, Los Angeles
"I don’t think I really came into myself until I turned 30. I developed my voice. That’s not to say I wasn’t always outspoken, but I think there’s a false sense that women have to put everyone before themselves. Being a woman, to me, means working hard and getting less credit than I deserve. I think it’s a common theme in my life. Namely being a woman of color, I feel like I have to fight that much more for credit on things I’ve already earned. It also means maintaining my mental health and my self-worth, because I have to work so hard, and that can sometimes be a blow to your self-esteem.
"I learned what being a woman means from my single mother. She wore every hat there was to wear for my sister and me. At the end of the day, it’s OK to be tired. It’s OK to not do everything on your list. And it’s especially OK to take mental health days to recharge. I also learned from the lifelong friendships I’ve cultivated with women from all walks of life, who inspire me to do better."
Laura Robert-Rivera12/17Laura Robert-Rivera
New York
"I first felt like a women when I decided to go to an all-women’s college, Barnard. Growing up as a Girl Scout and later participating in HERLead, I was able to learn the specific challenges and changes that girls face. I felt like a women knowing that I did not have to face these alone.
"Webster's dictionary defines "woman," [in part,] as a servant, personal attendant, wife, mistress, and girlfriend. In a world that labels me, my place and my worth in reference to the men in my life, I believe being a woman means knowing you are not alone; that all around the world, woman are, have and will rise above any definition, using knowledge, strength, confidence, and passion."
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Cassandra Levesque13/17Cassandra Levesque
19
"As a young woman, I am still learning, growing, and becoming a woman. There is no exact one point that I 'felt like a woman.' At 19, there is still a lot to learn and experience. There is room to grow, but I'm getting there, one day, one step at a time.
"[Being a woman] means being confident in my abilities to handle situations that I possibly find myself in. It means understanding that every action has a consequence, it means constantly growing and experiencing. Being a woman is a responsibility, and I have to step up and expand my thinking from 'me and my' to 'we and our.'"
Cassandra was a member of the Girl Scouts of the USA
Sylvia Acevedo14/17Sylvia Acevedo
"When I was working as an engineer early in my career, I was one of very few women. That was when I first felt like a woman, as there were so many assumptions about what I could and couldn't do based on my gender. That was when I embraced what it really meant to be a woman, as I defied stereotypes about what women could do, and embraced all the best qualities that women possess about creating community and caring for others. This is embodied in our Girl Scout mission: being a woman of courage, confidence, and character who makes the world a better place.
"[I learned to be a woman] when I decided to not accept limitations or assumptions others had about what women could do, and live out my life potential."
Reeny Botros15/17Reeny Botros
"Even in 2019, it’s virtually impossible to not be aware of the pressures of gender on your life — literally from the moment you were born. The key realization, though, that comes from growing up surrounded by generous, self-determined, and empowered women is that as a woman, I get to spend my life undermining sexist norms and revolutionizing the way women are considered and consider themselves.
"For me, being a woman means always having to be conscious of the gendered and sometimes sexist expectations that pervade society. It’s about surmounting those obstacles and then reaching back to support other women and girls in doing the same. Over the years my own leaders taught me so much about womanhood as I quietly watched them navigate hardships with grace and courage. The value of the opportunity to form long-term, intimate relationships with additional adult women cannot be overestimated."
Reeny was a member of the Girl Scouts of the USA
Hallie Pritchett16/17Hallie Pritchett
Washington
"When I was juggling my tomboy style, ballet classes, and the only female percussionist in my school band in middle school, I felt proud to be a female and breaking barriers (although, I didn't realize I was doing it at the time).
"Through family, friends, and life experiences, I never let being a woman "hold me back," nor did I allow it to push me into any predefined space. I saw the beautiful and horrible attributes of those around me and came up with my own meaning of what it is to be a woman."
Michelle Arevalo17/17Michelle Arevalo
Quito, Ecuador
"Ever since I was a baby, my grandfather was so fond of me, he would take me with him to teach engineering at a local university. At the time, in Ecuador, the sight of a well-respected engineering professor teaching with a baby in his arms must have been unsettling to many, but my grandfather managed to make it endearing and daring at the same time. One day, I asked him about the only person in the classroom that looked and sounded like me: 'Why is there only one woman student in your class, Grampy?' He pointed out there were actually two: I was there as well. In this short, nonpolitical answer, he opened the door, he invited me to be on the same team as this daring young female engineer, breaking barriers and opening doors for me. It was then that I first felt like a woman, who shares the legacy of countless women before me, and will pass on a (hopefully better!) legacy to the ones that come after me.
"Being a woman means sorority, but not in the spa, nails, and sleepover sense (although that is fun, too!). Sorority means owning the responsibility to other women. I heard once that real queens are those who fix each others' crowns. So, being a woman means I strive to do well, because I know that when I succeed, my work can have a multiplier effect. I strive to showcase other women’s strengths, because when we stick together, we grow stronger together. I strive to be generous with other women, first understanding their own struggles and then sharing my knowledge, networks, fears and lessons learned."
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