15 Times Scream Queens Perfectly Described the Horrors of Shopping
Shopping is like the Hunger Games of style: you’re constantly fighting with others, the retail powers that be, and your own freaking body to get the look you want. Everyone knows how terrifying the yearly hunt for jeans can be, and no one captures this struggle quite as perfectly as the cast of Scream Queens. Sure, they’re all trying to escape a Red Devil killer, but isn’t the wrong sized party dress in the perfect print and cut the Red Devil that haunts us all? Here are a few times Scream Queens hit the retail horror nail on the head.
1/15Before you even get started, you have to caffeinate properly.
Which requires an extreme detailed order, combined with waiting in a line that feels like purgatory.
2/15Then you see a sale and you have to come to terms with the fact that you’re going to spend all your money, so you need to spend your last moments kissing it goodbye.
Or using it as a chic fan, if you’re into that.
3/15You want to make a beeline for the accessories, and it feels so right until you’re knee-deep in necklaces without a piece of clothing to be seen.
But like, you’re going to need clothing to wear them with.
4/15The first thing you try on just makes you want to quit like, 90% of the time.
There is a rare 10% of occasions where the dressing room doesn’t make you want pizza.
5/15You see another girl walking towards the piece of clothing you wanted.
She picks it up and a little part of you — and a would’ve-been killer look — dies.
6/15In order to find the perfect look, you have to go alone, deep into the clearance section.
And bid farewell to your friends for what might be centuries in shopping time.
7/15When it’s finally time to accessorize, not a single pair of sunglasses looks good.
You have to rip every pair off your face, fearing the fateful ‘bug alien’ look of the early 2000’s.
8/15As the day goes on and turns to night, you have to walk into stores before they close and annoy everyone.
This is a life or dress scenario.
9/15You try to get an opinion from your mom, but all you get is shade.
Can a girl try a trend and live?
10/15Your boyfriend, of course, is useless in the fitting room.
“Just be honest” are the three most meaningless words in his vocabulary, as all he wants to do is leave and eat something.
11/15Then you have to cruise through the men’s section to get to the register, and every outfit is terrifying.
Lions and tigers and pastel polos, oh my!
12/15You finally get rung up, checked out, and given that sweet feeling of satisfaction.
You’re ready to take these babies home and show them off.
13/15But that feeling lasts juuuust about as long as a cash register closing, because now you are filled with the desperate need to get. Out. NOW!
Like, why can’t we teleport yet?
14/15You finish the trip and your friends want to hang out but you can’t even begin to think about it.
Does anyone want to meet up and talk about how tired I am? No?
15/15Finally, you’re so tired at the end of the trip when you get home that you literally feel dead.
“Shop ‘til you drop” aint no joke, girl.
