9 Star Wars Characters, Ranked from Absolute Worst to Most Flawless
For those of us that have been lifelong Star Wars fans, this week might as well be Christmas. This whole year has been a celebration leading up to the release of The Force Awakens, the first Star Wars movie since 2005. And while the last three films (further called ‘the prequels’) weren’t largely thought of as good, most of us have a lot of high hopes for this movie to remind us why we love that galaxy far, far away. If this is your first Star Wars movie, grab your ticket and strap in. We’ll catch you up on some of the characters you need to know about beforehand, ranked from worst to best.
GIF: Courtesy of GIPHY1/9Jar-Jar Binks
Let’s just get this out of the way. There’s nothing you need to know about this guy. People will bring him up and ask if he’s on any list, so here he is on this one, at the bottom. He’s a weird, amphibious bunny rabbit who showed up in The Phantom Menace as an attempt to inject humor into the movies. No matter what anyone tells you, he’s not showing up in *The Force Awakens. *
GIF: Courtesy of GIPHY2/9Anakin Skywalker
I can hear the Star Wars fans now — “but he’s Darth Vader!” He becomes Darth Vader, that’s what those three prequel movies are about. But Anakin, just Anakin on his own, is whiny, mean, and weirdly pushy with his senatorial girlfriend. He starts out kinda cute, but quickly just gets that pallor of people who play video games instead of going outside and never take their eye makeup off before sleeping.
GIF: Courtesy of GIPHY3/9Boba Fett
Everyone loves this guy, and as a lifelong Star Wars fan, a little girl who slept in a Princess Leia t-shirt and subscribed to magazines before the Internet was really a thing…I don’t get it. He’s got armor and shoots people. Meh. Next!
GIF: Courtesy of GIPHY4/9Lando Calrissian
Lando is Han Solo’s swaggering, grinning buddy, only he has a slick, mod-decorated city instead of a clunky old ship, and he wears a cape everywhere. He’s amazing, you want him to be amazing, but ultimately, it’s hard to forgive him for screwing his friends over. Sure, it all works out in the end, but c’mon, Lando. We trusted you.
GIF: Courtesy of GIPHY5/9Padme Amidala
It’s hard not to love Natalie Portman. Even in the prequels, where the writing can get a little...hard to love. Ultimately, you can always tell it’s Natalie Portman under there, especially when she’s less ‘Anakin’s Girlfriend’ and more ‘Queen and Senator.’ She also holds the high distinction of having some of the coolest space princess costumes in movie history. It’s also fun to watch, knowing that she’s Princess Leia’s mom. You can see where Leia gets her bearing and her sass.
GIF: Courtesy of GIPHY6/9Luke Skywalker
He starts out as a cute farm boy with a whining problem, becomes a bit of a Top Gun type with great hair, and then goes away to Jedi college, where he gets all serious and starts wearing black all the time. His journey is the plot of the three original films, and he’s always been an incredibly real character. Who among us hasn’t stared into the sunset and thought about the cool things we could be doing with our lives? Luke inspires us to do them.
GIF: Courtesy of GIPHY7/9Han Solo
Ask anyone what they think about ‘young Harrison Ford,’ and their eyes kind of glaze over with happiness. Han Solo is part of the reason why. He’s roguish, and scruffy, and bad news all over, but gosh, that smirk. He’s also got the coolest spaceship, a big muscly teddy bear for a best friend, and he’s not afraid to be rescued by his badass girlfriend — all traits I find admirable. Not to mention his fashion sense: when it’s cold out, who among us doesn’t default to leggings, riding boots, and a vest?
GIF: Courtesy of GIPHY8/9R2-D2
The little blue trashcan robot, yeah, him. He’s in all six of the Star Wars movies released previously, he takes Princess Leia’s messages for her, and he claps back in beeps and boops. If you think Siri’s got a smart mouth, you’re probably not ready for R2-D2. His friends call him Artoo. You can call him Artoo, I asked, you’re cool.
GIF: Courtesy of GIPHY9/9Princess Leia
Though according to sources, she’s General Leia, now. Princess Leia had great outfits and a blaster pistol, she got the hot guy *and *stood up to the bad guy. They put her in a metal bikini on a chain and she choked her captor to death with it. The ultimate in geek feminist royalty, Princess Leia was a bright spot in a Hollywood where we *still don’t always see women who can be both smart and feminine, both deadly and in love. Long Live the Princess.
