Let’s be real for a moment. We’ve all seen that years-in couple at a restaurant who’s ostensibly on a date but appear way more focused on wordlessly looking around than actually conversing. They perk up whenever the server comes by, eat quickly, and ask for the check fast. That, my friends, is a table that could benefit from some This or That questions for couples.
You hear a lot about “the spark” in conversations around long-term romance. And all that really means, when you get down to it, is active attention and curiosity. Curiosity about an S.O. falls within something researchers call interpersonal curiosity (IPC), or the “powerful drive to know” and the “desire to fill a gap in knowledge” about someone, according to a 2024 literature review of IPC research. It’s a path to intimacy, emotional safety, and quality connection, and the presence of a curious conversation partner has been linked to feelings of attraction, too.
But despite its outsized role in healthy — and hot! — relationships, demonstrating curiosity doesn’t have to be a super complex undertaking. Whipping out some This or That couple questions can totally get you there. Whether you’re looking for questions or couples that keep things light-hearted (but still exploratory), a This or That game for couples who’ve been around the block and want to go even deeper, or spicy questions that set the stage for explorations of an, ahem, different nature, we’ve got you covered.
Below, find unique This or That questions for couples that can add a dash of fun, flirtiness, and discovery to your next date night. Made it through all our This or That couple questions? You can always toss some in from our This or That questions game for friends. Or, move onto open-ended lines of inquiry with questions to ask your boyfriend or questions to ask your girlfriend (or your partner of any gender!).
In this article:
This or That Questions for Couples: Flirty
- Flirty eye contact or teasing texts?
- Being chased or doing the chasing?
- Making a boring errand fun or getting dressed up for a real date night?
- Teasing with words or teasing with looks?
- Hair pulls or neck kisses?
- Being the big spoon or the little spoon?
- Major PDA or no way?
- Gentle touches or confident (consensual!) grabs?
- Late night “wyd?” or early morning “thinking about you”?
- Fingers through hair or hands on hips?
- Competition as flirting or rom-com level sweetness?
- Dominant energy or soft control?
- Sharing a secret fantasy or hearing theirs?
- Flirty truth or flirty dare?
- “Don’t stop” or “do that again”?
- Slow intimacy or sudden tension?
- Flirting in a crowded room or sneaking off just to be alone?
- Touch or words as your love language?
- Passion or playfulness?
- Chill couple or high-energy couple?
- Kisses that start sweet or kisses that start bold?
- Spicy photos or spicy voice messages?
- Giving or getting some special attention?
- Flirty sarcasm or sweet compliments?
- Watching them do something lowkey hot (like focus on a task) or something unexpectedly sweet (like get excited about something small)?
This or That questions for Couples: Funny
1. Being stuck overnight together in IKEA or stuck overnight in a theme park?
2. Loudly argue in a restaurant or make out obnoxiously in the checkout line at Target?
3. Only kiss with your eyes open or only talk in baby voices for a week?
4. Compete in a “How well do you know your partner?” quiz on live stream or karaoke battle using only breakup songs?
5. Clutter everywhere or "organized chaos"?
6. Hair in the drain or crumbs in the bed?
7. Socks in bed or feet raw and free?
8. Nonstop talking through a movie or pausing to analyze every scene?
9. Reenact your most embarrassing couple fight for a TikTok skit or reenact your first kiss in front of your parents?
10. Only communicate via TikTok sounds for 24 hours or only communicate through passive-aggressive sticky notes for a week?
11. Get stuck in an escape room themed around your relationship drama or let your moms mediate your next disagreement live on Instagram?
12. Talk about your love life on a podcast hosted by your ex or let your partner read your last 20 Google searches out loud?
13. Be handcuffed together for 48 hours or swap phones (unlocked) for 48 hours?
14. Only speak in couple nicknames in public or refer to each other as “roommate” in front of everyone for a month?
15. Have to like their ex’s photo from 2013 or call them by your ex’s name once in front of their friends?
16. Airport three hours early or running to the gate?
17. Wear shirts that say “We just hooked up” on your next grocery store run or shirts that say “We’re fighting, don’t ask”?
18. Only be able to flirt in Shakespeare quotes or aggressively wink every time you feel attracted to each other?
19. Zombie apocalypse partner or dead weight if we’re being honest?
20. Tourist photo overload or zero documentation?
21. First to complain or first to rally?
22. “Let’s wing it” or “I made an itinerary with footnotes”?
23. Random facts all the time or dramatic storytelling with no point?
24. Matching tattoos or couples’ TikTok account?
25. Finishing each other’s sentences in public: Cute or cringey?
26. Sharing a toothbrush or wearing matching “I’m with them” shirts in public?
Romantic This or That Questions for Couples
1. Surprise playlist or surprise love note?
2. Flowers or candy?
3. Slow build or fast spark?
4. Candlelit chill night or spontaneous night out?
5. Cooking dinner together or doing an outdoor activity together for the next date?
6. Massages after a long day or forehead kisses before bed?
7. “Remember our first…” or “Can you believe we still…”?
8. Their scent or their voice?
9. Gentle “I got you” or fiery “you’re mine”?
10. Sunday mornings together or Saturday night adventures?
11. Their touch when you're stressed or their words when you’re insecure?
12. Remembering the little things or surprising you with something big?
13. Couples’ spa day or adventure hike with a view?
14. Picnic in the park or rooftop dinner?
15. “You make me better” or “You make everything fun”?
16. Planning the next vacation or staying in bed all weekend?
17. Celebrating every milestone or celebrating the little everyday wins?
18. Hearing them laugh or feeling them smile during a kiss?
19. Their “you’re safe here” hug or their “I need you” pull-in?
20. Them defending you to someone else or checking in with you after a hard day?
21. The rush of first love or the calm of steady love?
22. Napping together or road-tripping together?
23. Being the one who grounds them or being the one who lights them up?
24. Recreating your first date or doing something neither of you has ever done before?
This or That Questions for Couples Ready to Go Deeper
- Building something stable or chasing something big and wild?
- Doing nearly everything together or keeping your own routines?
- Never go to bed angry or it’s okay to sleep on it?
- Love in words or love in actions?
- Planning out dates or being spontaneous?
- Sharing everything or keeping a few things sacred?
- Living together or dating with separate spaces?
- Joint bank accounts or separate finances?
- Kids or pets?
- Saying “yes” to everything or choosing a slower pace?
- Buying a house or traveling the world?
- Feeling completely safe or feeling endlessly inspired?
- Always being honest even if it hurts or protecting each other’s feelings when it matters most?
- Being right or being understood?
- Making the bed or what’s the point?
- Morning person or don’t speak to me yet?
- Sabbatical in your 30s or building wealth long-term?
- Power couple or peaceful partners?
- Talking it out first or cooling off separately first?
- Grocery budget or “get whatever looks good”?
- WFH next to each other or need separate corners?
- Sharing everything on social or keeping everything private?
- Anniversary traditions or switching it up yearly?
- Creating a shared dream career or thriving in separate lanes?
- Compromising on decor or letting one person take the lead?
- Acts of service or quality time together when things are hard?
- Comfort no matter what or challenging each other to be better?
- Being productive on weekends or resting with zero guilt?
- Doing chores together or dividing and conquering?
- Surprising each other or sticking to the plan?
- Christmas with your family or theirs?
- Marriage one day or partnership without paperwork?
- Combining goals or supporting each other in reaching individual ones?
- Sharing every emotion as it comes or reflecting first, then sharing?
- Staying close to your roots or starting fresh somewhere new?
- Saving aggressively or splurging more often?
- Being the one who always gives them a hug when they need it or cracks a joke when they need it?
- Elopement or big ceremony?
- Life by the beach or life in the mountains?
- Two incomes or one person stepping back?
- Separate friends or same friends?
- Next date night: fun and energetic activity or dressed-up, romantic moment?
- Buying a fixer-upper or moving into something move-in ready?
- Doing long-distance for opportunity or sticking together no matter what?
- Big family holidays or escaping just the two of you?
- Being their home or being their adventure?
- Saying “I love you” often or showing it without saying it?
- Texting when you’re upset or waiting to talk in person?
- Apologies first or hugs first?
- Growing stronger through the hard stuff or growing softer together?
