When two vulvas (or more!) collide, it creates enough powerful energy that can shake the earth to its core. If you add lesbian sex toys to the mix — hold onto your pants because that’s the type of thing that could make the sun explode. Being someone with a vulva who has sex with other vulva owners is quite the sexual experience that’s only enhanced by wand vibrators, dildos, lube, and other cool vibes (bullet vibrator, anyone?). But what’s so great about being a lesbian is that when it comes to sex toys, the world is your oyster — pretty much nothing is off limits and whatever you’re craving or looking to explore can be satisfied if you know where to look.
“Not all lesbians like sex the same way, and lesbian sex is often full-body and exploratory, so that means there are many lesbians who'd pick up a variety of types of toys and find awesome things to do with them,” says Carol Queen, PhD, Good Vibes Staff Sexologist and author of The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone. “Two toy styles many lesbians love are vibrators and dildos (used by hand or with a harness). It's a myth that penetration is required for pleasure and orgasm; and people of ANY gender and orientation might enjoy penetration or not. So they aren't a requirement — but for many, they are for sure on the menu.”
What are the benefits of lesbian sex toys?
Lesbian sex toys are designed to pleasure vulva owners who want to get off and can be used on the clitoris, the g-spot, and other areas — including the backdoor. It’s a myth that lesbians only like vaginal penetration; anyone with a butt can enjoy a butt plug.
“These toys also make it easier for vulva owners to deliver pleasure for their partners in the easiest way possible. Toys like strap-ons and double-ended dildos, while still centering penetrative sex, make it so that couples can enjoy this pleasure relatively hands-free. Strap-on base covers can add a layer of comfort and pleasure given the specialized contouring for clitoral stimulation,” says Danielle Simpson-Baker, MA, MFTI, sexologist and member of The Pulse, The Honey Pot Company's panel of expert advisors.
But it’s not just about lesbian masturbators or lesbian vibrators and the importance of incorporating them into your sex life. It’s also about empowerment, recognizing and owning your sexuality unapologetically.
“For lesbians in particular, there are so many harmful, patriarchal narratives in our society about lesbian couples and relationships and lesbian sex somehow being invalid because there isn't a cisgender man present,” says Natasha Camille, a relationship and sex therapist and owner of Wildest Dreams Therapy in New York City. “That is one reason I think there is so much power as a lesbian in creating sexual experiences that are uniquely pleasurable to you and your partner(s). Sex toys can be one way in which folks might go about creating their pleasure rituals.”
What should teens know about lesbian sex toys?
To have the best experience with sex toys, Kim Coffin, sex and empowerment coach of Get Your Sexy Back, suggests getting to know your body with your fingers first. "I don't think that teenagers should be going right to a vibrator,” says Coffin. “I think they should be exploring and playing with their hands and seeing what they like first.” When you do decide to experiment with sex toys, Coffin says to take it slow with low-vibration settings. There’s no sense, after all, in going from zero to 60 when it comes to learning about pleasure.
Experts also recommend exploring your sexual identity before reaching for any vibe. “Not all lesbians have vaginas, and that's super important to know because we should all strive to foster inclusive conversations about sex and pleasure,” says Natasha. “Teens should also know that experimenting with sex toys is just one piece of their self-exploration as sexual beings. It's OK if sex toys are not for you. What's most important is allowing yourself to explore at your own pace and staying present with what's happening for you in your body and for you emotionally.”
It’s also important to consider what you’re learning about sex ed at school, and how non-inclusive it’s likely to be, adding to confusion and even thoughts of alienation.
“Good hetero education will have a certain amount of relevance to lesbian sex, but most youth-focused sex ed is not actually good, because it skirts info about pleasure,” says Carol. “This is also a tough time to think about teens seeking out alternative knowledge because of the spate of book-banning that has been happening.”
Queen suggests educating yourself if you don’t feel like you’re getting the education you deserve. She recommends Girl Sex 101 by Allison Moon and S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties by NB educator Heather Corinna, adding that these books “would be good antidotes to bad info, if readers have access to them.”
How to best use sex toys safely
Whether you hit up a sex shop or order a toy from a reputable online site, you want to read about what’s in the sex toys. The FDA doesn’t regulate sex toys, so it’s up to you to be aware of what’s body-safe and what’s not. Sex experts advise staying away from plastic and jelly-like substances. You'll want to stick to medical-grade silicone, steel, or glass.
When it comes to sex toys, lube is key. But this also means that you need to know what your sex toy is made of so you buy the right lube. Silicone-based lube can’t be used with silicone toys because it ruins the integrity of the toy over time, eventually destroying it. So, it can only be used with glass or steel toys. However, water-based lubes can be used with all types of sex toys, no matter their material.
“For safe sex toy usage, [make] sure to take care of yourself before and after using toys,” says Natasha. “One way that we can take care of ourselves is by giving our bodies the clean-up that they might need after a fun sex toy sesh. I'm a stan for The Honey Pot Company's Intimacy Cleansing Wipes! I use them for a gentle clean after any kind of sexual activity, and they always leave me feeling both fresh and soothed.”
Now that you have all this information in your pocket, it’s time to reveal the 17 best lesbian sex toys. Hold onto your undies, because this list is pretty damn amazing.
Top Sex Toys for Lesbians:
- Best Dildo: Adorime Double-Ended Vibrating Dildo, $41
- Best Double End Vibrator: Wet for Her RockHer Mini Scissoring Vibrator, $80
- Best Sex Toy for Lesbian Couples: Njoy Pure Wand Stainless Steel Dildo, $72
- Best Clitoral Sex Toy: The Womanizer Classic 2, $129
Best Strap On
Whether you’re new to a strap-on and harness kit or not, this is a great toy if you’re looking to engage in penetrative sex of any kind. The harness is adjustable and with it comes a seven-inch-long dildo that’s made of silicone and is curved perfectly for G-spot stimulation. If you want to up your sensation game, the harness has a pocket for a bullet vibrator to make sure you both get your rocks off.
Pro: ✓ Adjustable harness ✓ Reviewers say it’s easy for beginners
Con: X Some say the dildo is too curved
Size: 7-inch-long dildo, adjustable harness 28 to 65 inches
Material: Silicone
Waterproof: Yes
Colors available: Black harness, purple dildo
Review: “So easy to use. Both my partner and I can put this on quickly. Great quality and a great addition to our sex life.” — Lovehoney review
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Best Dildo
If you’re looking for double the pleasure, the Adorime Double-Ended Vibrating Dildo has got you covered. It's super smooth, realistic-looking, and has seven vibration modes to take you and your partner to cloud nine. Fancy some anal play with your vaginal play? Oh, yeah! Double penetration in the tub? Sign me up! Feeling like you want to roll hands free and make things spicy? This dildo comes with a wireless remote control so you can take turns being in charge of who’s getting what vibration patterns and at what levels. It also doubles as a strap-on dildo, although the o-ring and harness are sold separately.
Pro: ✓ Dildo length ✓ Powerful vibrations
Con: X Some think it’s a little pricey
Size: 14.8 x 1.4 inches
Material: Silicone
Waterproof: Waterproof
Colors available: Purple
Review: “I CANNOT stress enough how amazing this toy is, and what a screamin’ DEAL this was!! This is hands down my absolute favorite toy. My girlfriend and I basically died after we first tried it, but we died satisfied, lol.” — One happy girlfriend, Amazon review
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Best Clitoral Sex Toy
Womanizer uses a suction motion to stimulate the clitoris without actually touching it but by hovering over it. It's also designed with a unique pleasure air technology to help women achieve an orgasm within a few minutes, according to the brand, making it a great asset to those who struggle to climax. It has 10 various intensity levels, comes with an additional larger stimulator attachment (clits come in more than one size, FYI!), and a cotton storage pouch. Fun fact: a 2016 study found that 100% of the participants had an orgasm thanks to Womanizer.
Pro: ✓ Orgasm ability ✓ Comfortable to hold
Con: X It’s on the loud side
Size: 6.5 inches
Material: Silicone
Waterproof: Waterproof
Colors available: Black, purple, and red
Review: “The Womanizer was the first toy that truly felt like it needed to be on the nightstand for easy access,” said Julie Logan, director at GIPHY. “I've gotten into interesting conversations with queer friends about their sex toys and relationships—the passive-aggression when a toy is returned along with your other things, the association you have with something that was mostly used with a person you're no longer with—but never have I heard of a Womanizer being abandoned.”
Best for Lesbian Couples
With a 4.8-star rating and over 200 rave reviews on Lovehoney, you can bet this dildo is worth every penny. It's made from a solid, stainless steel material, has double-ended balls connected by a curve, and has a weighted pressure that helps amp up sexual pleasure. And because it’s made of steel, like glass dildos, it can be your first (or 100th) foray into temperature. Whether it’s heated up or cooled down, this wand adds more sensation for those enjoying a solo sesh or engaging in partnered play.
Pro: ✓ Dildo shape ✓ Doesn’t need to be charged
Con: X Some say it’s expensive but worth it
Review: “First review EVER. This item deserves a review by future owners of the NJoy. I received it yesterday after much anticipation from reading reviews. Used and enjoyed it. I was flying out of town the next day and packed this with. This toy is now responsible for soaking my hotel bed and all my towels. It’s amazing and I’m looking forward to continued use.” — Amazon reviewer
Size: 8 inches
Material: Steel
Waterproof: Splashproof
Colors available: Silver
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If you prefer clitoral stimulation, this waterproof toy’s name will probably hold true for you. This top-rated sex toy is designed with air-pulse pressure wave technology to provide the sensation of suction. It also has a stronger motor that is guaranteed not to make any loud sounds. Users can choose between 11 intensities and use it underwater, thanks to the IPX7 waterproof material. Reviewers also note that the head is big and wide, helping to cover the entire clitoris.
Pro: ✓ Great price point ✓ Orgasm-inducing
Con: X Some think it’s a little pricey
Review: “I mean, everyone needs the Satisfyer Pro 2, IMO,” said Ellen Jones, a campaigner, speaker, and writer who identifies as a lesbian. “I think it may well be God’s gift to people with clitorises, to be quite honest,” she added. “The first time I used it, I squirted for the first time ever in under two minutes. Me, the person on antidepressants who normally can't come…I highly recommend.”
Size: 9.84 inches
Material: Silicone
Waterproof: Waterproof
Colors available: Blue, rose gold, violet
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I have this wand vibrator and love it. In fact, I have this one, the petite, and some of the limited editions, but this one is by far my favorite of all of them — although the petite is easier for traveling. Wand vibrators are clitoral stimulators at their finest and no one does it quite like Le Wand. Not only does the direct contact with the clit soak up the 20 patterns and 10 vibration intensities, but the flexible head of the wand is big enough for full vulva stimulation, making it perfect for teasing (read: edging) yourself or your partner.
Pro: ✓ Lots of patterns ✓ Intense vibrations
Con: X Some say it’s a bit noisy
Review: “I am a non-op trans woman who fell in love with this! It may be a tad loud, but it definitely gives you deep pleasure. Simply a magical and wonderful product.” — Amazon review
Size: 13.5 inches
Material: Silicone
Waterproof: Splashproof
Colors available: White, gray, and pink
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If you’re sick of losing your vibrator cords or running out of batter in the middle of a steamy session, may we suggest this modern art piece? OK, it’s a glass dildo but it sure looks like it belongs in an upscale studio. Each hand-blown, hypoallergenic, body-safe glass wand is not only beautiful to behold but “made to play hard,” so you and your partner can gaze at it while you enjoy a hazy afterglow. The brand also notes that you should run the wand under warm water before using it to heat things or use cold water for a cooling sensation.
Pro: ✓ Great for temperature play ✓ Beautiful
Con: X Some are wary of the top glaze
Review: "I've had this on my wish list for about a year and finally decided to bite the bullet, and I'm so glad I did. The colors are not as vivid as in the picture, but it's still very beautiful. I spent a lot of time admiring it as a piece of art before I tried it out, but it's well worth the money! Easily one of my favorite toys, and it's so much fun to stick it in the freezer beforehand for some temperature play. My partner loves it, too. I think she mostly loves how much I love it. Overall, I'm very, very happy with it." — Amazon review
Size: 8.75 inches
Material: Glass
Waterproof: Waterproof
Colors available: Clear with blue swirl
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Enhance your strap-on with this base that goes around a dildo. It can help provide clitoral stimulation, as well as extra comfort to the wearer. The intricate design and smooth medical-grade silicone helps to massage the clitoris during thrusting so that both partners enjoy themselves. It doesn't vibrate, so it won't necessarily lead to an orgasm for the wearer by itself, but it can be used with a vibrating dildo.
Pro: ✓ Flexible and comfy ✓ Worth the price
Con: X Some think it’s a little bulky
Size: 4 inches
Material: Silicone
Waterproof: Waterproof
Colors available: Purple
Review: “My girlfriend is an avid pegger and is in heaven with this! It gives her lots of supple stimulation and helps cut down on chaffing/over sensitivity/soreness associated with using a strap-on for a long, healthy session. 10/10, we both recommend this! You can't go wrong! Worth every penny!!” — Amazon review
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I have this finger vibrator and for the longest time I didn’t leave home without it (because you never know how a night will end or if you need a mid-day pick-me-up, TBH). It's the perfect size to hold between your fingers as you hit all your favorite erogenous zones, as well as those of your partner. It’s easy to use and although it only has three vibration intensity levels, that’s all it needs. It also charges really fast in case you run out of juice mid-play and need a refill.
Pro: ✓ Good for all-over body play ✓ Travel-ready
Con: X Some think it could have stronger vibrations
Size: 2.75 inches
Material: Silicone
Waterproof: Waterproof
Colors available: Navy, quartz, jade, and citrus
Review: “I really love finger vibrators for use on myself and on my partners who also have a clitoris. The Dame Fin Finger Vibrator is SUCH a nice option. I love how it comfortably fits between your fingers, and the power of the vibration is gold-locks approved — not too much and not too little; just right!” — Natasha Camille, relationship and sex therapist
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This cute, candy-colored, double-ended internal vibrator is a best-seller for the brand and we can see why. At seven inches long, you can twist this bendy 10-speed vibrator to hit whatever angle you desire. One reviewer wrote, “it's addicting in a good way — even writing about this one makes me want to use it after I am finished here.”
It also feels very smooth thanks to the body-safe silicone material, which is also waterproof and can be submersible for up to 30 minutes. The battery reaches a full charge within an hour and will last for up to two whole hours!
Pro: ✓ Flexible and versatile ✓ Surprisingly powerful
Con: X Some think it’s expensive for what it is
Size: 8.3 inches
Material: Silicone
Waterproof: Waterproof
Colors available: Quartz, mint
Review: “This is my go-to! Also, it was my first vibe ever. Bender is soft and comfortable and the charge lasts forever. It’s great for slow, relaxing sessions but works great if you need something quick, thanks to all of its settings! The vibrations are strong and radiate throughout your whole body. I suggest this for anyone new to toys.” — J, Unbound review
Like all We-Vibe products, the Moxie can be controlled via the We-Connect app which makes this perfect for long-distance relationships. Because who doesn’t want to be out on the town wearing this panty vibe and get a few mouth-watering vibes from their LDR partner? Talk about a treat. It also comes with a remote control for when you want to tantalize and tease your partner from across the room. Moxie can easily be slipped into your undies, but for those who fear it might fall out, don’t fret — it comes with a magnet to keep it in place.
Pro: ✓ Great for LDRs ✓ Quiet
Con: X Some think the app needs work
Size: 3 inches
Material: Silicone
Waterproof: Waterproof
Colors available: Blue, black
Review: “This vibe is so much quieter than any panty vibe I have used, nearly silent. It, for sure, would never be able to be heard with even the slightest background noise. It's also very small and discreet but packs a punch for its size. Using the app unlocked higher vibration quality, definitely use the app. Vibrations are more rumbly than high frequency, but it was no issue. Feels well made and solid too.” — Amazon review
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Sometimes, all you need is an external vibrator that you can use on your partner’s vulva (and yours, ofc, too!) to start the process of getting truly hot and bothered. As Queen points out, it’s a myth — and an archaic one, TBH — that penetration is the only way to orgasm or even experience pleasure of any kind. Some people aren’t into penetration at all, so limiting ourselves to only internal toys is a major disservice. "External vibes like Starsi and similar palm vibes should NOT be overlooked — they can be great for arousal and orgasm,” says Queen. With five vibration modes, this palm vibrator may look innocent, but it’s some deliciously powerful stuff.
Pro: ✓ Multi-textured ✓ Powerful vibrations
Con: X Some think it’s a little pricey
Size: 4.5 x 1.3 inches
Material: Silicone
Waterproof: Waterproof
Colors available: Orange
Review: “Starsi is exactly the toy I had been longing for! Brought just the right amount of extra stimulation for both me and my partner during heavy petting, and great as a solo toy too!!" — Flowerpot, Good Vibes review
If you love the feel of glass sex toys, Aubrey Blanche, senior director at Culture Amp, suggests investing in this beautiful set. “I'm a big fan of the Tracey Cox double-ended dildo because it provides a lot of control to the penetrating partner and tactile feedback, with or without a harness,” said Blanche. “As the receptive partner, it makes it easier to give super sexy feedback as well. I've always found that the double-ended ones feel more connective than single-ended ones, and I love [that] double-ended gives you the ability to hit your partner’s G-spot even when you're on the penetrating partner.” Again, just go slowly and use lube to make sure everyone's comfortable.
Pro: ✓ Wonderful texture ✓ G-spot stimulation
Con: X Some say they could be bigger
Size: 9 inches, 7 inches insertable length
Material: Glass
Waterproof: Waterproof
Colors available: Clear and pink — set
Review: “I will admit I was a little intimidated to buy glass for the first time, but I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO SILICONE! So much easier to clean, no pores for anything to seep into.” — Lovehoney review
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Let’s be honest: isn’t it even a proper sex toy list if it doesn’t include at least one rabbit vibrator? No; not at all. But while rabbit vibrators could easily be enjoyed during solo or partner play, this rabbit cock ring puts a fun spin on lesbian sex toys. We’ve already covered strap-ons, but what about if the one wearing the strap-on had this cock ring on the dildo as well? You know, tickling their clit while they penetrate their partner? Hot and orgasms for all, that’s what.
Pro: ✓ Quality material ✓ Powerful vibrations
Con: X Some say it takes a few uses for the silicone to get stretchy
Size: Stretchy
Material: Silicone
Waterproof: Waterproof
Colors available: Black
Review: “Wow, we're a pair of happy bunnies…this hits all the right spots.” — Lovehoney review
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Sex toys for women may run the gamut, but when we’re talking about vulva-to-vulva and/or queer sex, scissoring is the name of the game.“Wearable vibes like the scissoring vibrator from Wet for Her are specially created just for lesbian sex, as this toy is designed to deliver pleasure to the person wearing it AND their partner at the same time while scissoring. While finger vibes are not only limited to lesbian lovers, they can still add an extra layer of sensation to your everyday fingering; there are even finger extenders for added length, girth and control (essentially a cover for your two fingers that makes them look and feel longer),” says Danielle Simpson-Baker, MA, MFTI, sexologist.
Pro: ✓ True to size ✓ Great shape
Con: X Some think it could hold the charge longer
Size: 2.56 inches insertable length
Material: Silicone
Waterproof: Splashproof
Colors available: Purple
Review: “The RockHer Mini Scissoring Vibrator is perfect for vulva-to-vulva action,” says Laura Rose Halliday, sex educator and founder of School of Squirt, who tells me that this toy is one of her absolute favs. “With 10 vibrational settings and a wireless remote control, you can have hours of fun with your partner. This is especially good for young lesbians just beginning to explore scissoring. Remember, sex toys don’t have to be phallic to be fun!” Hear! Hear!
Every time The Rose Suction Vibrator shows up on Amazon, it sells out quickly. But luck for us, it’s back in stock! With over 1800 five-star ratings, this suction toy is everything and then some. It’s also another favorite of Halliday. “The Rose Suction Vibrator is great for personal or reciprocal partner play,” she says. “This toy uses air and vibrations to stimulate the clitoris or nipples. It’s also waterproof and rechargeable, with a runtime of 45 minutes.” While 45 minutes may not seem like a long time compared to other toys, if your creative enough you can do A LOT in that amount of time. A LOT.
Pro: ✓ Good for all-over body play ✓ Ergonomic
Con: X Some felt it was a little loud
Size: 24.6 x 25.3 x 26.7 inches
Material: Silicone
Waterproof: Waterproof
Colors available: Black, Pinkrose, Purple, and Red
Review: “From the moment I turned it on, I was transported to a world of pure relaxation and tranquility. In a world where stress and tension are constant companions, this massager is a true gem. It's not just a product; it's a journey to relaxation and rejuvenation. I can confidently say that this massager has elevated the way I take care of my well-being, and I can't recommend it enough to anyone in need of a little ‘out of body’ experience in the comfort of their own home.” — Amazon review
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When it comes to finding the best sex toys for lesbians, it's really about finding a company that knows what queer women want and specializes in exactly those types of toys, explains Halliday. "Wet for Her is a sex toy retailer designed by lesbians, for lesbians," she says. "Their range of toys includes dildos, strap-ons, vibrators, and anything else you can imagine needing for intimate time with your partner." One of those toys is Two Finger Extender. Because not everyone has the necessary finger length to master the "come hither" motion to perfectly stimulate the G-spot, this toy gives you a little help. And because it's made of 100% medical grade silicone, it feels oh-so au natural.
Pro: ✓ Feels natural ✓ Travel-ready
Con: X Some felt it could be more flexible
Size: 4.7 x 1.83 inches
Material: Silicone
Waterproof: Waterproof
Colors available: Pink, Purple, and Black
Review: "Exactly what we both wanted and didn’t know we NEEDED!" — Anonymous, Wet for Her review
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