What a glorious time to be alive. In the last year alone, pretty much every last cult-classic movie has received the musical treatment, bringing big-screen gems like Legally Blonde, Heathers, and (soon!) Devil Wears Prada to the stage. Now we can add another to the listand immediately start saving money to spring for a very necessary front-row seat. After lots of speculation, Clueless director Amy Heckling just confirmed that her beloved ’90s film is headed to Broadway. Please join us in raising our marabou feather-tipped pens in celebration.
In an interview with Entertainment Tonight, the Hollywood vet/personal hero promised that Bronson Alcott High School is theater-boundalbeit slowly. "I thought movies took a long time. It’s hard to know with Broadway when things will happen," she divulged. But the good news is that it is going to happen. "I’ve written what they call ’the book,’ and it’s a jukebox musical." And while that technically means instead of an original score, it’ll feature existing pop hits, we’ve taken it upon ourselves to come up with a list of musical numbers that Cher and co. should consider belting out. We’ll be the first to sing along.
**"As If": Cher’s exasperated introduction of her high school to the audience **
"It’s an Alaa": A peek at Cher’s magical virtual wardrobe
"A Virgin Who Can’t Drive": Cher’s epic, emo slow ballad
"Supermodel": An outfit montage featuring Cher, Dionne, and a recently-madeover Tai
"A .45 and a Shovel": Cher’s dad Mel’s triumphant solo musical with lawyers dancing in the back
"The Boy Can Dress": Dionne and Murray singing to Cher, revealing that Christian is a homosexual
"Buyers’ Remorse": Cher’s heartbreak song after she realizes she’s in love with Josh (featuring Dionne on backup vocals)
**"Rollin with the Homies": Tai and Elton’s party duet (with potential cameo by Coolio, because surely he’s as excited as we are) **
"Wh-at-ev-er": Amber’s five seconds of fame
**"Tuck and Roll": Cher reflects on the nuances of dating **
"Kids in America": A dance scene featuring Travis and a posse of skaters
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