If I could go back and tell my high school self only one thing about sex and dating, I'd have a long list to choose from. Maybe don't break into your crush's locker to try to leave him a secret admirer's note because he will definitely catch you. Also, don't change all of your interests to the same things your crush likes — he or she will eventually see through you. And of course, don't stalk his or her Facebook before getting to know them because you can and will accidentally mention a family boat trip you weren't supposed to know about. Yeah, I needed help back then, but who doesn't?
In honor of all the lessons we learn after our teen years, here's some advice from 20 different girls in their 20s. They tell you the one thing they wish they knew in high school about sex and dating.
Knowing your body is the most important thing in enjoying a consensual sexual scenario. You have to discover what makes YOU feel good. YOU HAVE THE POWER. Own your sexuality and your sexual pleasure. — Allie, 25
Girls calling girls sluts only encourages guys even more to use this language, and see it as acceptable. Stick up for each other. Calling someone a slut doesn't make you innocent. — Megan, 25
Don't take things personally if it doesn't work out. Sometimes it is you, but you never know what someone else is dealing with privately that makes them not able to give you what you're looking for. — Katie, 24
One of my biggest concerns was always worrying about the right thing to say when talking to, especially texting, a guy. I remember analyzing every message he sent, then drafting a response and checking it with my best friend before I replied. THAT IS SUCH A WASTE OF TIME! Once I was old enough to realize this, I made a rule that I had to reply with the first thing that came into my mind. I figured that response was the true me response, so why send anything else? — Natalie, 26
When going through a terrible breakup, my boss told me, "You're too young to waste your pretty." aka don't waste your time on someone who isn't worth it. — Julia, 25
If you want to stay with your high school boyfriend/girlfriend when you go to college, DON'T DO IT. Long distance relationships ruin college 100% of the time. — Hannah, 29
Don't approach a romantic situation with the mentality of, "I hope he (or she or whoever) likes me." You're great. Instead, think, "I hope I like him." — Allie, 25
When you don't know what to do, think of someone you respect and look up to, and think about what they would tell you to do. Do that. Instead of feeling victim to your emotions, act like the person you want to be. Eventually, it will become who you are. — Sarah, 27
Don't let your initial emotional reaction dictate what you do. If you're in a fight, you have to learn when to say, "Give me 5 minutes." Don't let yourself say/do things in the heat of the moment. — Marie, 23
If he calls you instead of texts you to ask you to hang out, he's a keeper. — Jessica, 22
Never have a serious conversation over text. It will never end well. — Sam, 26
Don't try to learn how to have sex from watching porn. Porn isn't what real sex looks like. They only do positions that look insane on camera. That said, porn is still fun and totally okay to watch – once you turn 18! — Micah, 23
Being a virgin isn't embarrassing. — Lauren, 29
Keep up with STD screenings. I'm serious. — Haley, 21
Learn all of the options before choosing your birth control. Don't get stuck with a birth control that sucks for you. — Jamie, 23
Don't overthink your first time, but definitely use a condom. — Charlotte, 24
When you're going through a breakup, it's not a race to see who gets over who first. This is a time to figure out what worked and didn't work for you. Focus on yourself. — Morgan, 25
There's no such thing as calling dibs on someone. If you and your friend have a crush on the same person, you can't get mad if that person ends up liking your friend instead of you. People like who they like. — Christina, 29
The first time you get a boyfriend, your best friend is going to feel replaced. Make sure you prove them wrong and learn how to balance relationships and friendships. — Maria, 27
There's no timeline for anything. You don't need to lose your virginity at a certain age, you don't need to hook up with a guy after a certain number of dates, and you don't have to wait three days to answer a text. — Jordan, 24
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