For those starting their jobs in young adulthood, the jump into full-time work might come with a mix of excitement, relief, and…total overwhelm. One reason the leap into a 9-to-5 can feel jarring is that it’s just one of many changes someone might experience at the same time. With a new job comes new responsibilities and new routines, and might also include a new way of moving through your life that impacts everything from friendships to free time.
“There is so much happening that there is often not time to process all that is occurring in one's life,” Kalen Cobb, a staff therapist at the Family Institute at Northwestern University, tells Teen Vogue. Some clients come to her right after college, she says, and it’s the first time they’ve been able to take a breath. Before, they were working to get into college, then working to land a job. Not to mention those young adults who have been supporting themselves, caretaking, or taking on responsibilities earlier in life. That moment to catch your breath can feel short-lived with a job starting, as new chapters of work and life begin, and the hustle to pay bills happens.
If you’re experiencing that, “Wait, we’re supposed to do this for the rest of our lives?” feeling, you aren’t alone. To help you prepare to make the leap, we talked to experts about how to ease the shift when applying, starting a new job, and everything that comes after.
As you’re job-searching…
Tabitha Barbour, a career coach at Butler University, tells Teen Vogue that she often meets with students who feel pressure to have a job lined up by graduation, or, on the other side of the spectrum, people who altogether avoid conversations about what is happening after college.
But starting early gives you more time to think about what you want the next chapter to look like.
Barbour encourages students to begin networking well before they plan to apply. “We find that networking is the number one way to find a job,” she says. “People want to work with people they know and trust, and the way to get to know people is through conversations.”
Barbour tells students to take stock of who might be in their network: Did you meet someone through an internship or a part-time job? If you’re a student, can you connect with alumni from your school who have worked in the field you’re interested in? “I always tell the students I work with that working is good professional experience,” she says, including part-time jobs or those that are seemingly unrelated to the field you’re hoping to enter. Even if those connections don’t have a job offer for you, they could give you insight into a field or workplace that helps you make informed decisions. (You can also break up the job hunt into smaller pieces by reflecting on your skills and how you developed them, which can help guide you toward potential options.)
When possible, Cobb suggests, consider major life changes ahead of time: “I tell people, even if you have a week or two between graduation and a job, or a week or two before switching jobs, to really think about what is it that I need as a human to feel fulfilled, to feel good about myself?”
Once you have the job…
After you’re in the role, there are ways to establish habits that make the transition easier. Lindsey Pollak, author of Getting From College to Career, often tells recent graduates to think of themselves as detectives in order to observe communication styles, workplace etiquette, and routines happening around them, which might vary from workplace to workplace.
“The first step is to do your best to have a beginner's mind, meaning accept that this is new and different and you are learning a lot and will make mistakes,” Pollak tells Teen Vogue. When you’re confused about something or need clarification, she suggests asking for advice from a person in your workplace who is closest to your level. That could also create opportunities to build a rapport with coworkers and have open discussions about experiences in the workplace moving forward.
With a new role can come pressure to wow a boss right out of the gate, but Pollak recommends a different approach: “It's better to focus on building a strong foundation by getting the basics right,” she says. Showing up on time, taking feedback on mistakes and applying it, taking notes on assignments, and paying attention are all solid, basic starting points. This also allows you to settle in and grow with a sturdy foundation.
Another factor to keep in mind is that your first full-time job isn’t necessarily the be-all and end-all. Because we spend so much time working, it makes sense that we’d want to enjoy what we do, but don’t panic if what’s paying your bills isn’t your passion. “Every professional experience is a chance to learn, grow, and build your experience and professional relationships,” says Pollak. “It is very rare to know exactly what you want to do in life in your early 20s, and there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ job or career path.”
When the grind of work feels discouraging, it can be helpful to remember that the work you’re doing now might truly be just that: work you’re doing now.
What about everything else?
One of the biggest challenges Cobb sees for young adults during the shift into a full-time job isn’t actually about work at all. “A lot of it is, honestly, around lack of community,” she says. People who come into the workforce right after graduating from college are often left missing the sense of structure, breaks, and community provided in a school atmosphere. And for young adults who might’ve been juggling multiple jobs or working while in school, the transition into one full-time job can feel isolating in a different way, because of pressure they may feel to fill time that was once packed to the brim.
“I think that isolation often can contribute to some of the challenges that are experienced in the workplace,” Cobb says. Sometimes, she adds, feeling overwhelmed leads to going to work, coming home, eating, then going to bed. It’s a just-getting-by routine that can feel impossible to break out of. Sometimes this pattern can be a necessity, but when the routine becomes a habit, it can contribute to what Cobb refers to as a “disconnect from the self and a disconnect from those around you.” If work doesn’t feel fulfilling, it's important that we seek out opportunities for community and connection wherever possible.
“Some of us are at work at least eight hours a day, so make sure that you structure time for yourself,” Cobb says. Here’s the tough part: Sometimes that doesn’t look quite as exciting as it ideally would and that can be hard. Planning small things to look forward to, like a 20-minute phone catch-up with a friend, a walk around the block, or taking a few minutes to read and journal at night are ways to help bring a sense of balance. Where can you find a few minutes to do something that makes you feel like you or helps you unwind?
“You are the only one who knows what your experience is and what it has been,” Cobb continues. “So checking in with yourself is important, and acknowledging that the person I am today is not the person I was before.”
Other tips for starting a 9-to-5
“It can be very easy to feel like the bulk of your day gets eaten up by work, but in my experience, the way to handle this is by ensuring that your time at home is calm and structured rather than harried. For me, this means a very thorough post-work ritual of emptying my [work] bags of [any] trash and filling them with what I need the next day, preparing the coffee maker, cleaning my travel mug, etc. In the mornings, this means making sure the house is tidy, so I'm not instantly worried about small chores the second I get home. I always try to envision the most stressed and disorganized version of myself 12 hours in the future and structure a routine that makes life as easy as possible for her.” —Savannah, 30, political communications
"It’s important to build relationships with your coworkers, but that doesn’t mean that they’re your friends. Be aware of your boundaries, avoid being unnecessarily honest, and understand that your relationship might last only as long as you work for the same company. Build relationships anyway." —Aliannea, 32, software engineering
“Once a week, plan something to do after work. Grab dinner with a new friend, try a workout class, or go to a show. When you first start working full-time, it can be draining and difficult to find time for your life outside of work. Making time for even one short social activity a week makes all the difference in breaking up your workflow and reconnecting with yourself. I'm a fan of finding a new spot to grab a sweet treat with my friend each week.” —Rachel, 24, corporate tech account executive
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