In September, TikToker Kelsey Kotzur posted a video to her 168,000 followers that relayed a conversation in which a group of bridesmaids gossiped about the wedding party they’d recently been in. Kotzur described the gossip as starting out “tame,” but it quickly devolved into what she called “sinister” territory. The video has been viewed over 2.5 million times since its release.
In a different video, Kellie Yancy filmed and posted a clip of herself listening in on a group of women gossiping about their friend Sarah. Those in the comments section were up in arms, trying to find the friend who had been bad-mouthed. Yancy's original video was viewed 1.2 million times in the week after it was posted.
Eavesdropping on random, gossipy conversations used to be a fairly harmless pastime. Due to TikTok, though, loose lips might now be tightened up in public places. GossipTok has changed the chat trajectory, and a new style of video in which TikTokers listen in on private conversations and relay for a global audience what they've heard, detail by detail, is making once mostly private conversations extremely public. But is it ethical to air other people's dirty laundry?
For Yancy, posting the gossip she overheard was a way to have a stranger's back; she wanted Sarah to hear what her friends were saying about her. “My intention was never to start drama, but Sarah needed to know how her friends really felt," Yancy tells Teen Vogue. "There are many dangers that people face on a daily basis while dealing with those they think are friends, but instead are talking about them behind their back.”
To Yancy, gossip in public spaces is fair game: “Granted, this could be an unsafe act or warrant an unsafe situation for both parties; however, that’s something [people will] have to consider before engaging in public gossip.”
Gossiping is often viewed as negative, and it can certainly be hurtful if it gets back to the person being gossiped about, but it can also be a generally harmless way to communicate feelings, blow off steam, or — more importantly — create a whisper network about potentially dangerous situations or people. But social media has opened up a new frontier where people can share overheard details far and wide. We’re living in an age of digital surveillance, when there’s no guarantee of absolute privacy in public. Still, is it right to share other people's gossip online?
Anastasia Kārkliņa Gabriel, PhD, a cultural strategist and the author of Cultural Intelligence for Marketers, believes there are a few social factors at play here. “Gossiping can make us feel socially accepted — like we are social insiders while those being gossiped about are on the periphery," she says. "That's precisely why it's so addictive to tune into the juiciest gossip online with hundreds of thousands of strangers; it's us versus them.”
What’s troubling about GossipTok videos is the lack of context surrounding them. And sometimes, the videos are just hurtful and upsetting. Beyond that, Dr. Kārkliņa Gabriel notes, they may also be creating a "carceral culture," as defined by philosopher Michel Foucault.
“Social punishment used to be a visceral spectacle, enacted and performed publicly,” explains Dr. Kārkliņa Gabriel. “Within the broader context of algorithmic curation and the profitability of creating viral content, it's difficult to see GossipTok as anything other than performative vigilantism fueled by our collective hunger for spectacle, rather than a genuine desire for behavioral correction, healing, or reconciliation.”
In other words: Posting other people’s gossip doesn’t come from a true need to help the person being gossiped about, but rather a desire to punish the gossipers.
Sometimes, though, the person being gossiped about can benefit from this kind of public spectacle. In 2020, Marissa Meizz went viral after a fellow New Yorker overheard her friends planning a birthday party excluding her. The original video was viewed over 14 million times, and Meizz received such an immense outpouring of support that it inspired her to create a social club to help people meet new friends.
“After my video was posted in 2020, a lot of users saw how I changed my life after it and used it positively," says Meizz, creator and founder of No More Lonely Friends. "But 99% of people wouldn’t have done that or even would’ve tried to respond to it. Just because it turned around for me, doesn’t mean it will for everyone.”
Humans are always going to gossip. It’s in our DNA. But as technology progresses, the nature of how we engage in gossip is likely to evolve. Says Meizz, “Gossip is gossip. Hands down, people have become way too comfortable talking poorly about others in public, and if you don’t want others to overhear, go to someone's house or a private area. But," she adds, "posting someone without their consent in a very poor light on purpose is [also] not okay.”
The internet's current favorite pastime seems to be turning strangers into content for the sake of going viral. For some, this evolution is expected, given that social media makes public so many aspects of our lives. But others are questioning the ethics of GossipTok. As one Reddit user on the r/technology thread put it: “What ever happened to mind your own damn business?”
